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Embracing Singleness

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Updated: Jan 30

Stephanie D. Strickland
Stephanie D. Strickland

It’s 2025, Happy New Year!!! Every year we all think about what we are going to do to make the new year our year. We create vision boards with pictures and affirmations, hoping this will help manifest the things we desire. Or we write down new year resolutions, of what we want to achieve and before the month of January is over, we have already forgotten what we’ve written down.

 

I’ve been pretty on track with following through on my goals for each year. In 2022, I told myself I would achieve the goal of becoming a published author, and I did. My first book debuted in March of 2022. For 2023 I told myself I would become an advocate for women of domestic violence, by speaking at events and sharing my story bringing light to a dark subject. In February of 2023, I had my first speaking engagement. In 2024, I made a promise to love myself more. That was the year I went plant-base with my eating, I started working out, getting enough sleep, and practicing mindfulness. Now I am in 2025, and for this year I will be embracing my singleness. I have been single now for over 10 years. Wow, I never said that out- loud and I never thought I would have been single this long.

 

My single journey started in 2013 when I left my abusive marriage. I was married for 26 years. I was in a marriage where I experienced emotional, verbal, sexual, financial, and physical abuse. When I left, I was completely broken mentally and emotionally. In the beginning it was all about me healing from the trauma I had experienced. I wanted to be whole. I wasn’t confident in myself; I didn’t love myself. I truly didn’t know who or whose I was and therefore I really didn’t know the kind of man I wanted to be involved with. I just knew I was done being abused. I was comfortable being alone. Then as few years passed, I thought I was ready, so I started dating a man who I soon realized was a narcissist. Let’s just say as soon as I recognized I was dealing with a narcissist, I ended that relationship quickly. What is that saying, “When someone shows you who they are the first time, believe them.”  After I ended things with Mr. Narcissist, I decided this was going to be my season of being alone, but who knew this season would turn into 10 years. God knew, because during this time, I really developed a relationship with Him. I started attending Bible study at my church which soon led to me facilitating classes in our children’s and women’s ministry. Being single taught me how to find my identity in Christ. It gave me time to focus on pleasing God and not pleasing a man. By focusing on God's acceptance and not the acceptance of this world, I found peace, and I saw myself as thriving in my life. But there were still moments when I found myself dwelling on being alone.

 

So, in 2025 instead of wondering, dwelling, and trying to figure out why I am still single, I am just going to embrace it. The Bible teaches us in Psalm 144 that women are “pillars carved to adorn a palace.” We are not only beautiful, but we are also strong and useful. So, while I am in this season of singleness, I am going to keep becoming the best version of myself, instead of obsessing over how God is going to bring that special someone into my life. I am going to spend my days exploring and developing things that interest me. I am going to put my free time to effective use by delving in my hobbies, like hiking, training for a marathon, traveling, and learning to cook plant-based meals. I am going to treasure this season as a gift.

 

If you’re single right now, just know that there will always circumstances in life that we wish were different. But regardless of our circumstances what we focus on matters. Cultivating a positive outlook helps. See being single as a gift. This is a time for you to focus on what makes you happy. This is a time for you to gain confidence in your identity. This is a time for you to thrive.

 

Stephanie Strickland is a Dallas, Texas native, and an up-and-coming author, and a sought-after speaker. Stephanie is a survivor of domestic violence who passionately spends her time advocating for victims and survivors of abuse. When she is not busy writing award winning books, and appearing on podcasts, she is sharing her inspiring story with others. Stephanie is a God believer and is highly active in her church, where she is a part many ministries. You can connect with Stephanie, by clicking on her social media accounts below or by sending her an email.

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